inspiring – Tolstoy Therapy https://tolstoytherapy.com Feel better with books. Tue, 13 Dec 2022 13:27:41 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.1.1 https://tolstoytherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/cropped-tolstoy-therapy-1-32x32.png inspiring – Tolstoy Therapy https://tolstoytherapy.com 32 32 10 inspiring books about new beginnings to read in the new year https://tolstoytherapy.com/fresh-start-books/ Tue, 13 Dec 2022 13:27:38 +0000 https://tolstoytherapy.com/?p=8133 We all know that we can make life changes at any time of year. But there’s just something about the new year for reinvention and starting afresh. To inspire your best year yet in 2023, I’ve compiled some of the best books for taking stock and inspiring life changes in the new year. Read these...

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We all know that we can make life changes at any time of year. But there’s just something about the new year for reinvention and starting afresh.

To inspire your best year yet in 2023, I’ve compiled some of the best books for taking stock and inspiring life changes in the new year. Read these for hope, optimism, and motivation.

These recommendations include memoirs and fiction books about people starting afresh, finding their courage, and following their dreams. I’ve also included a few self-help and personal development books too.

Complement these inspiring books with a goals journal (I love the migoals journal) – alongside plenty of self-love and gentleness – and head into 2023 with inspiration, energy, and motivation.

The best books about starting over and new beginnings

1. The Memoirs of Stockholm Sven by Nathaniel Ian Miller

The Arctic is one of my happy places, so as soon as I heard about this book about new beginnings on the archipelago of Svalbard I knew I had to read it. 

The Memoirs of Stockholm Sven is a novel about a man who leaves a restless life in Stockholm for a solitary life in the Arctic Circle, where he’s saved by good friends, a loyal dog, and a surprise visit that changes everything.

2. Carrie Soto is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Taylor Jenkins Reid has written some of the best can’t-put-down books from the last few years, including The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo and Daisy Jones & the Six.

Now in 2022, Taylor Jenkins has published Carrie Soto is Back, her story of a tennis legend supposedly past her prime at thirty-seven, brought back to the tennis court for one more grand slam. Carrie Soto sacrificed everything to become the best, and now she needs to give everything she’s got to defend her record.

This isn’t precisely about new beginnings, but it is about setting a lofty goal and finding the courage and motivation to reach it. For more like this, you might like this collection of inspiring books about strong women.

Carrie Soto is back cover

3. Finding Ultra by Rich Roll

If you’re looking for a book to inspire you to get in shape or push your physical limits, read Finding Ultra. Nearly fifty pounds overweight and unable to climb the stairs without stopping, Rich Roll experienced a chilling glimpse of his future on the night before he was to turn forty.

This story of superhuman personal transformation shows how – through a plant-based lifestyle and daily training – Rich morphed from out of shape, mid-life couch potato to endurance machine and Ultraman competitor.

4. The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

At the stroke of midnight on her last day on earth, Nora finds herself transported to a library. There she is given the chance to undo her regrets and try out each of the other lives she might have lived.

Which leaves her with the all-important question: what is the best way to live?

The Midnight Library will inspire you to think about the decisions you make every day as well as your big-picture vision for life, but it will also help you to realise that you can’t do and be everything (because that’s impossible).

The Midnight Library

5. A Psalm for the Wild Built by Becky Chambers

I love this cozy book about starting over. In the main city of Panga, the world of A Psalm for the Wild Built, we meet Sibling Dex: a non-binary twenty-nine-year-old gardener who has no idea what they want to do with their life.

However, Dex knows one thing for sure: that despite the beauty and livability of a metropolis, “sometimes, a person reaches a point in their life when it becomes absolutely essential to get the fuck out of the city”.

Dex decides to become a tea monk instead, serving tea that’s perfectly personalized for every customer. When they find themselves still searching for meaning, they head towards the unknown and the wilderness, where they find more kindness and connection than they ever could’ve expected.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built book

6. Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver

Prodigal Summer is one of my all-time favourite books about nature and self-discovery, but it’s also an excellent book about new beginnings.

The beautifully-written story has three parallel plots, all focused around a farming community in the Appalachians, including Lusa, a young woman from the city who must unexpectedly start over and find her own way.

Book_Prodigal Summer

7. Bewildered by Laura Waters

Usually there’s a reason why someone would ditch their life and take off into the wild for five months. For Laura Waters, the author of this inspiring travel memoir, it was the implosion of a toxic relationship and a crippling bout of anxiety.

Armed with maps, a compass, and her life in a bag on her back, she set out to walk the untamed landscapes of the Te Araroa trail in New Zealand: 3000 kilometres of raw, wild, and mountainous nature winding from the top of the North Island to the frosty tip of the South Island.

Laura hadn’t planned on a solo trip, but when her walking partner dropped out on the second day, she was faced with the choice of whether to continue alone or abandon the journey.

She chose to walk on, battling not only treacherous terrain and the elements, but also the demons of self-doubt and anxiety. However, at the end of this once-in-a-lifetime journey, Laura realised that she really could face anything that life threw at her

8. Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand

Unbroken is a moving testament to the resilience of the human mind, body, and spirit – and one of the most gripping non-fiction books of the last few years.

In boyhood, Louis Zamperini was a delinquent. As a teenager, he channeled his defiance into running, discovering a talent that carried him to the Berlin Olympics. But when World War II began, the athlete became an airman, embarking on a journey that led to a doomed flight on a May afternoon in 1943 in which his Army Air Forces bomber crashed into the Pacific.

Surviving against the odds – and about to contend with even greater trials than the ocean – this cinematic page-turner shares the unimaginable story of how Zamperini was driven to the limits of human endurance and forced to answer desperation with ingenuity and suffering with hope.

9. Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes

If you want to read a fun, quick, and light romance book about fresh starts, read Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes. Bestselling author Taylor Jenkins Reid describes it as “a quirky, sweet, and splendid story of a woman coming into her own.”

It’s been a year since Evvie Drake’s husband died, but she still can’t leave the house. Dean Tenney was once a sports star, now he’s a former sports star who can’t understand why he’s lost his ability to throw a ball better than anyone else.

When Dean moves into the apartment at the back of Evvie’s house, the two make a deal: Dean won’t ask about Evvie’s dead husband, and Evvie won’t ask about Dean’s failed career.

But as Dean and Evvie grow closer, they wonder if these rules could actually be the one thing in the way of them starting over.

10. Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears by Pema Chödrön

Pema Chödrön feels like a balm for the soul. Eternally wise and comforting, Pema draws on time-honored Buddhist teachings on shenpa (all the attachments and compulsions that cause us suffering) in this book.

In Taking the Leap, she shows how certain habits of mind tend to “hook” us and get us stuck in states of anger, blame, self-hatred, addiction, and so much more – and, most of all, how we can liberate ourselves from them for a new way of beginning. 


For more books to read in the new year, complement this with my collection of the most inspiring books to read to change your life around, or the best self-help books to read for when you can’t get to therapy.

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10 of the best books about strong women to inspire your courage https://tolstoytherapy.com/books-about-strong-women/ Wed, 30 Nov 2022 11:18:37 +0000 https://tolstoytherapy.com/?p=7586 I love reading books with badass women protagonists. These women are strong, authentically themselves, and much more than just a romantic love interest. They have their own lives, their own thoughts, and their own goals and motivations. Some of my favourite books about strong women are fantasy books, others are thrillers, action books, literary fiction,...

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I love reading books with badass women protagonists. These women are strong, authentically themselves, and much more than just a romantic love interest. They have their own lives, their own thoughts, and their own goals and motivations.

Some of my favourite books about strong women are fantasy books, others are thrillers, action books, literary fiction, and biographies.

Read on for some of my favourite books about strong women (which are also perfect books for strong women to read), including books from Madeline Miller to Maya Angelou, Philip Pullman to Katherine Arden.

I hope you can find some new additions to your to-read list that will give you some inspiration, escapism, and a kick in the butt to be a badass in your own life.

The most empowering books about strong women to read

1. Northern Lights by Philip Pullman

My reading of His Dark Materials as a child was like my experiences of Harry Potter and The Chronicles of Narnia: magical, warming, and otherworldly.

As an adult, re-reading the series was just as meaningful, if not more so – there’s so much I could only understand those years later. I also remembered how much I love Lyra. She’s stubborn, caring, and strong, especially in the first half of the series before she reaches the self-consciousness that comes with early adulthood.

The first book of the series is Northern Lights, which is a perfect book to read in winter.

2. Galatea by Madeline Miller

I could’ve easily chosen Circe for this list of books about strong women, but to shake things up I’ll choose this short story by Madeline Miller.

In this tiny little book, Madeline Miller boldly reimagines the myth of Galatea and Pygmalion. Galatea (“she who is milk-white”) is the most beautiful woman her town has ever seen, carved from stone by Pygmalion, here a skilled marble sculptor, and blessed with the gift of life by a goddess.

Pygmalion expects Galatea to please him with her youthful beauty and humble obedience, but in Madeline Miller’s retelling, Galatea has desires of her own. She yearns for independence – and knows she must break free to rescue her daughter, whatever the cost. Here’s my review of Galatea.

3. Letter To My Daughter by Maya Angelou

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it,” wrote Maya Angelou in this genre-transcending guidebook, memoir, and gift to inspire all readers to craft a life with courage and meaning.

Letter to My Daughter is Maya Angelou’s offering for her “thousands of daughters,” even though she gave birth to one child, a son.

“You are Black and White, Jewish and Muslim, Asian, Spanish speaking, Native Americans and Aleut. You are fat and thin and pretty and plain, gay and straight, educated and unlettered, and I am speaking to you all.”

4. The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

The Priory of the Orange Tree is an enthralling, epic fantasy about a divided world on the brink of war – and the women who must lead the fight to save it.

I read this book on The Trans-Siberian Railway between Moscow and Russia, and it was the perfect choice for long days with a book as the remote landscape rolled past.

It’s a big book with an even bigger universe inside to explore, including fantastic women and LGBT rulers and protagonists. A sequel, A Day of Fallen Night, is due for release in February 2023.

The Priory of the Orange Tree

5. The Mercies by Kiran Millwood Hargrave

If there’s a Nordic equivalent to Circe by Madeline Miller, it’s The Mercies. Set in the winter of 1617, the sea around the remote Norwegian island of Vardø is thrown into a vicious storm.

A young woman, Maren Magnusdatter, watches as the men of the island, out fishing, perish in an instant.

The island is now a place of strong women, and The Mercies is a tale of what follows in the beautiful, brutal environment.

6. Enchantress of Numbers by Jennifer Chiaverini

Ada Lovelace was destined for fame long before her birth, as the only legitimate child of the most brilliant and scandalous of the Romantic poets: Lord Byron.

However, her strict and educated mother had different ideas for her daughter – and succeeded. The rigorous mathematical education she gave Ada would steer her towards the work and observations that led to her (largely unheralded) legacy as the first computer programmer.

In Enchantress of Numbers, a “novel of Ada Lovelace”, Jennifer Chiaverini masterfully unveils the passions, dreams, and insatiable thirst for knowledge of a pioneer in computing,

7. The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden

At the edge of the Russian wilderness, winter lasts most of the year and the snowdrifts grow taller than houses. But Vasilisa doesn’t mind – she spends the winter nights huddled around the embers of a fire with her siblings, listening to her nurse’s fairy tales.

As danger circles her home, Vasilisa must call on her strength and summon dangerous gifts she has long concealed to protect her family.

The Bear and the Nightingale is a Russian fairytale version of Spirited Away; magical, wintery, and infused with courage.

The Bear and the Nightingale

8. The Wolf Den by Elodie Harper

The Wolf Den is the gripping tale of Amara, the beloved daughter of a doctor in Greece until her father’s sudden death plunged her mother into destitution.

Now, Amara is a slave and prostitute in Pompeii’s notorious Wolf Den brothel. But intelligent and resourceful, and buoyed by the sisterhood she forges with the brothel’s other women, Amara’s spirit isn’t broken.

In this book about strong women (which has similar vibes to Madeline Miller’s books), Amara finds solace in the laughter and hopes of the women around her, realising that the city is alive with opportunity, even for the lowest-born slave.

However, freedom comes with a price – and she’ll need to find the courage and ingenuity to pay it.

9. Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler

Octavia E. Butler wrote about race and gender at a time when science fiction was almost exclusively the domain of men. You can pick up any of her novels and find a strong fictional role model, but Parable of the Sower is a great starting point.

The badass protagonist is a teenage girl who spends most of the story disguised as a man while the world around her crumbles – a world that, despite being crafted in 1993, is eerily similar to our own. If you loved The Handmaid’s Tale, read Parable of the Sower next.

10. The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

Becky Chambers has one of the most unique voices in fiction right now, creating wonderfully hopeful and cozy sci-fi that feels as comforting as a hot cup of tea.

Her first book, The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet is full of strong and well-rounded female characters. In a motley crew on an exciting journey through space, Rosemary Harper, one adventurous young explorer, realises that this crazy environment is exactly what she wants and needs.

On board the Wayfarer, Rosemary discovers the meaning of family, love, and trust in the far reaches of the universe. I loved escaping into this heartwarming and feel-good world crafted by the author of the 2021 novel A Psalm for the Wild-Built.


For more books about strong women, complement this post with my collection of the best books like Circe by Madeline Miller.

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12 of the most inspiring books to read to change your life https://tolstoytherapy.com/books-inspire-big-changes/ Wed, 02 Nov 2022 13:55:09 +0000 https://tolstoytherapy.com/?p=6675 One of the reasons I pick up a book is to feel inspired and live life to the fullest. Books have motivated me to make some of the biggest changes in my life… travelling alone, moving abroad (first to Spain, then Switzerland, and now Denmark), and starting my own business. In this post, I’ve compiled...

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One of the reasons I pick up a book is to feel inspired and live life to the fullest. Books have motivated me to make some of the biggest changes in my life… travelling alone, moving abroad (first to Spain, then Switzerland, and now Denmark), and starting my own business.

In this post, I’ve compiled the most inspiring books to read for a new chapter in your life, showing you that it’s never too late to transform the way you live your life.

Choose one of these motivating books to pick up first and think about the big changes you can make in your own life. A lot can change in a year, let alone five or ten years. What will you do next in your life?

The most inspiring books to help you make big life changes

1. Think Big: Take Small Steps and Build the Future You Want by Dr Grace Lordan

How would your life change if you started thinking bigger? If you dream bigger dreams, set bigger goals, and made bigger changes?

I recently read Think Big and loved how it inspired me to think bigger for my life. It also gave me a new spin on some of my philosophies and tools for dreaming up what I want in life.

Think Big

2. The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

At the stroke of midnight on her last day on earth, Nora finds herself transported to a library. There she is given the chance to undo her regrets and try out each of the other lives she might have lived. Which leaves her with the all-important question: what is the best way to live?

The Midnight Library will inspire you to think about the decisions you make every day as well as your big-picture vision for life, but it will also help you to realise that you can’t do and be everything (because that’s impossible).

The Midnight Library

3. Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman

How do you actually want to spend your time here on earth? Four Thousand Weeks is one of the best books to help you answer that question – and one of the most readable non-fiction books I’ve read in the last few years.

I flew through it earlier in 2022 and covered it with notes and annotations. It’ll make you rethink your ideas of productivity and time management and dive into what it’s all ultimately for.

Four Thousand Weeks

4. Atomic Habits by James Clear

This bestseller is a fantastic book about changing habits and making life changes not by force, but by adjusting how we think of ourselves and by introducing fail-proof systems.

If you haven’t read Atomic Habits yet, now is the best possible time to pick up a copy and let it inspire big changes in your life.

Atomic Habits

5. Playing Big by Tara Mohr

Playing Big is one of my top recommended books for women in their twenties and is a fantastic handbook for stepping up and being more you.

That doesn’t need to mean shouting or wearing a nice blazer: it can also mean quietly sharing more of your writing, ideas, and creations with gentle and graceful confidence. You get to choose how you show up. What matters is that you do, whatever your own way looks like.

Playing Big

6. When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

What makes life worth living? When Breath Becomes Air is an incredibly moving memoir about the beauty and fragility of life.

At the age of thirty-six, on the verge of completing a decade’s worth of training as a neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. One day he was a doctor treating the dying, and the next he was a patient coming to terms with the little time he had left.

On Reddit, TriathleteGB shared: “When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi put life into perspective more than anything else I’ve come across. It’s hard not to feel like you should get out and make the most of your opportunities after reading it.”

When Breath Becomes Air

7. Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

This is my go-to book for inspiring creativity. When I need inspiration, courage, or a kick in the butt, I pick up my copy of Big Magic or listen to the fantastic audiobook read by Liz Gilbert. There’s some woo-woo to navigate, but that’s pretty easy to skip past if it’s not for you.

The main message of the book is that you are creative just by being a human. And you can create, be, and do so much during your lifetime. If someone else is doing the things you dream of, why can’t you?

On Reddit, tor_tellini shared: “If you’re a creative type, Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert totally changed how I think about living as a creative person who wishes to do so much more stuff but never takes a step forward in my creative ideas and dreams.”

Big Magic

8. Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds by David Goggins

I didn’t think I’d like this book, but Can’t Hurt Me is one of the most motivating books you can read when you feel stuck and want to change your life.

As a warning, there are definitely some parts of the book that verge on toxic masculinity, but overall it’s a good book for motivating you to transform your life fast, especially if there are some problems in your life that you have the power to change (even just partly).

Can't Hurt Me

9. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

I first read Meditations during one of the most anxious periods of my life, as a student studying for my degree in English Literature and Spanish at Exeter University.

I remember reading this classic inspiring book in a little coffee shop during the weekends, shortly before I found the courage to end a relationship, travel abroad alone for the first time, and then move to Switzerland.

This book – Marcus Aurelius’s private journal – is the first self-help book ever written, and it’s just as applicable today as it was two thousand years ago. Get your own copy and turn to it when you’re feeling lethargic, lost, sweating the small stuff, or lacking motivation.

Book_Meditations

10. The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky

The Brothers Karamazov is one of the best pieces of classic Russian literature you can read. That said, it’s actually a lot more readable than you might think. And it’s a really transformative book that can change the way you live your life.

On Reddit, JoNightshade shared that after reading The Brothers Karamazov, “[I] realized I was an Ivan, and I wanted to be Alyosha. Ditched grad school and went to China for a year to teach and become a part of the Real World.”

The Brothers Karamazov

11. The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff

The Tao of Pooh is a soothing philosophical guide to living well. It’s a book that teaches Taoism through Winnie the Pooh, gently inspiring and guiding you to a whole new realm of thinking (or perhaps non-thinking).

Read this to find more peace and clarity – and admire the beauty and goodness of life that’s already around you, too.

The Tao of Pooh

12. You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero

I needed to read this book at the start of my twenties. Sure, it’s got a really cheesy title, but You Are a Badass gave me the push I needed to shake up my life (in my case, leaving a job that made me feel like crap and starting my own business).

I needed to hear that so much was in my power to change and that things could be different. I wasn’t stuck. I could dream up different directions for my life and work and actually make them happen. Read this to overcome your self-doubt and remind yourself that you are capable of so much.

You Are a Badass

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The Salt Path by Raynor Winn: finding strength and facing illness with a 630-mile hike https://tolstoytherapy.com/finding-strength-the-salt-path/ Sun, 29 Dec 2019 09:55:44 +0000 /?p=2202 “Most people go through their whole lives without answering their own questions: What am I, what do I have within me? The big stuff. What a waste.” I read The Salt Path by Raynor Winn back in late August, just after I’d finished hiking The Arctic Circle Trail in Greenland. I love adventure memoirs like...

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“Most people go through their whole lives without answering their own questions: What am I, what do I have within me? The big stuff. What a waste.”

I read The Salt Path by Raynor Winn back in late August, just after I’d finished hiking The Arctic Circle Trail in Greenland.

I love adventure memoirs like these – The Sun is a Compass by Caroline Van Hemert was probably my favourite book of the year. I adored The Salt Path, too.

The Salt Path tells Raynor Winn’s true story of losing everything. Just days after learning that Moth, her husband of thirty-two years, is terminally ill, their house and farm are taken away, along with their livelihood. Suddenly homeless and faced with Moth’s declining health, they make the impulsive decision to walk the 630 miles of the sea-swept South West Coast Path, from Somerset to Dorset, through Devon and Cornwall. It’s a decision that saves them.

A 630-mile hike isn’t easy for anyone, least of all when you’re terminally ill and with next to no money for provisions, comfort, and gear. Raynor and Moth’s courage is incredible to witness, proving just how much strength we really have inside us. It’s also a testament to the power of nature as a safe space, something I’ve realised time and again in recent years.

“I made tea while Moth read from the tiny slim volume of Beowulf, the only book we carried. Is it human nature to crave ritual? Is it instinctive to construct a safe environment before we allow ourselves to sleep? Can we ever truly rest without that security?”

Carrying only the essentials on their backs, they live wild in the ancient, weathered landscape of cliffs, sea, and sky. Yet through every step, every encounter, and every test along the way, their walk becomes a remarkable and life-affirming journey.

Powerfully written and unflinchingly honest, The Salt Path is ultimately a portrayal of home—how it can be lost, rebuilt, and rediscovered in the most unexpected ways. The risk of homelessness is closer than we’d care to think about, and Raynor Winn’s memoir opens our hearts to the people facing it – people just like us.

“If we hadn’t done this there’d always have been things we wouldn’t have known, a part of ourselves we wouldn’t have found, resilience we didn’t know we had.”

If you’re looking for a book to help you to find your courage, inspire you to make bold and adventurous decisions in the year ahead, and open your heart, The Salt Path is right at the top of my list of recommendations.

You can get your copy of The Salt Path by Raynor Winn on Amazon or at your local bookstore.

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“The universe is made of stories, not atoms”: 10 reasons to tell your story, as inspired by Bobette Buster’s Do Story https://tolstoytherapy.com/reasons-to-tell-your-story/ Wed, 23 Sep 2015 12:39:00 +0000 https://tolstoytherapy.com/?p=65 “The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.” Muriel Rukeyser Bobette Buster, a story consultant, lecturer and screenwriter, covers a huge amount in the 112 pages of Do Story.  The book – one of the “inspirational pocket guidebooks” by the independent publishing house The Do Book Company – is a beautifully inspiring exploration of storytelling, but...

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“The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.”

Muriel Rukeyser

Bobette Buster, a story consultant, lecturer and screenwriter, covers a huge amount in the 112 pages of Do Story

The book – one of the “inspirational pocket guidebooks” by the independent publishing house The Do Book Company – is a beautifully inspiring exploration of storytelling, but is perhaps more so an encouragement to accept vulnerability and open up about ourselves.

This is one of the reasons why I started this website back in 2012, as well as a huge incentive to keep writing. 

But there are many reasons to tell stories, as Do Story explores. Here are some of them. Perhaps use them as encouragement to open up to a friend, think about the storyline of your life so far, or start off by journaling. 

After all, as the wonderful quote by Muriel Rukeyser (and shared in Do Story) goes: “The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.”

10 reasons to tell your stories by Bobette Buster

1. Stories impact everything we do

How well you tell your story can make the difference to anything you do – whether that’s convincing someone to love you, buy something you’ve made, or give something of themselves; or how well you make your way in the world; or, simply, in sharing who you are.

2. Stories connect us by illuminating common ground

3. For inspiration

By telling and hearing stories we become inspired. We can envisage a better life for ourselves and become more courageous.

4. Stories provide clarity

They help us to understand our feelings and interpret the world around us.

5. Stories let us share our vision of ourselves, our experience, and the world

6. Stories develop our self-esteem

As Bobette Buster shares, it’s thought that the more a child knows his family’s ‘story’ – the better informed he is about his family and obstacles they have overcome in order to survive and thrive – the ‘stronger a child’s sense of control over his life, the higher his self-esteem’.

7. Stories are “prescriptions for courage”

In short, stories are prescriptions for courage. They illustrate how to run the race. And win. We are not born with courage. We may possess bravado, even arrogance. Youth normally does. But courage is a quiet, spiritual muscle discovered only when you face your greatest fear. Stories embolden, strengthen, and establish how we can become our very best.

8. By talking about the turning points in our lives, we can nurture the possibility of transformation

9. Storytelling gives us a chance to discover who we are

10. Our stories make us unique and exceptional

And we’re the only ones who can really share them.


Own your own narrative, risk your vulnerability, and tell your stories well. Do Story provides brilliant help for the journey.

If you like Do Books, you might also like the 99u book series. They’re both inspiring and beautifully-produced additions to a bookshelf.

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Aung San Suu Kyi’s favourite books, including John le Carré, Austen & WWI poetry https://tolstoytherapy.com/aung-san-suu-kyi-and-favourite-inspiring-books/ Sat, 27 Dec 2014 17:05:00 +0000 https://tolstoytherapy.com/?p=109 BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs makes for intriguing listening. Each episode invites the chosen castaway (a celebrity or important figure of lesser or greater fame or virtue) to choose eight pieces of music, a book (in addition to the Bible – or religious text – and The Complete Works of Shakespeare) and a luxury...

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BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs makes for intriguing listening. Each episode invites the chosen castaway (a celebrity or important figure of lesser or greater fame or virtue) to choose eight pieces of music, a book (in addition to the Bible – or religious text – and The Complete Works of Shakespeare) and a luxury item.

A favourite of mine is the interview with Aung San Suu Kyi, first broadcast on 27 January 2013, which is a rare personal interview with the Chairperson and General Secretary of the National League for Democracy in Burma.

Aung San Suu Kyi is an incredible figure of courage and an endless campaigner for democracy, and I’ve been previously inspired by her collective writings, Freedom From Fear. However, even the strongest of wills would by tested by facing almost 15 years of house arrest. To hear about the music and books that helped Aung San Suu Kyi to retain a degree of strength during this time is a great gift to us.

Nobel laureate Aung San Suu Kyi arrives to give speech at her constituency Kawhmu township, Myanmar on 22 March 2012. Image by Htoo Tay Zar.

1. Aung San Suu Kyi’s book for a desert island: the Abhidhamma

As her one book to enjoy as a castaway on Desert Island Discs, Aung San Suu Kyi chose the Buddhist Abhidhamma, a collection of core Buddhist texts. I’m fascinated by Buddhism, and I’m currently reading The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön, an American Buddhist nun in the lineage of Chögyam Trungpa.

The book is a great introduction to becoming a “warrior” of the mind, and comes with some great advice to apply to our own lives (on both good and bad days):

May we continue to open our hearts and minds, in order to work ceaselessly for the benefit of all beings.
May we go to the places that scare us.
May we lead the life of a warrior.

The Buddha preaching the Abhidhamma.

Elizabeth and Mr Darcy by Hugh Thomson, 1894

2. Fiction by and about inspiring people (alongside beautifully written books)

In the Desert Island Discs recording, Aung San Suu Kyi added some further choices that are both brilliantly crafted and greatly inspiring. If we’re looking for some day-to-day motivation, here are some superb recommendations to get us started.
Why not re-read Austen’s novels, get inspired by Gandhi’s autobiography, or flick through the Selected Writings of Havel?

Of course I read a lot about people who were inspiring, people who could help me with my task… Gandhi, Nero, Václav Havel. At the same time, I would re-read Jane Austen and get a lot out of that, simply through the beauty of the language.

– Desert Island Discs, 27 January 2013

3. John le Carré’s novels

An unexpected yet brilliant choice from Aung San Suu Kyi is John le Carré’s work, the author of The Spy Who Came in From the Cold and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (also a major film). Can’t we all relate to her desire for an escape from the real world, or rather “a journey into the wider world”?

I have to mention one of my fellow honorands at this time, because when I was under house arrest I was also helped by the books of John le Carré. They were an escape – I won’t call it an escape, they were a journey into the wider world. Not the wider world just of other countries, but of thoughts and ideas. And these were the journeys that made me feel that I was not really cut off from the rest of humankind. I was never alone, because there were many, many avenues to places far away from where I was.

Oxford University Speech, 20 June 2012

Gary Oldman as George Smiley in the 2011 film adaptation of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.

4. Poetry of the First World War

I frequently write about my love for Edward Thomas’s poetry, while I know that many of you also enjoy the work of Robert Frost and Wilfred Owen. Therefore, WWI poetry comes as another welcome choice from Suu Kyi.

The First World War represented a terrifying waste of youth and potential, a cruel squandering of the positive forces of our planet. The poetry of that era has a special significance for me because I first read it at a time when I was the same age as many of those young men who had to face the prospect of withering before they had barely blossomed.

Nobel Lecture, Oslo, 16 June 2012

In particular, Aung San Suu Kyi has quoted “I Have a Rendezvous with Death” by Alan Seegar (1917):

I have a rendezvous with Death
On some scarred slope of battered hill,
When Spring comes round again this year
And the first meadow-flowers appear.

Men of U.S. 64th Regiment, 7th Infantry Division, celebrate the news of the Armistice, November 11, 1918

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“Let My Country Awake” by Rabindranath Tagore to Inspire Individual and Social Change https://tolstoytherapy.com/let-my-country-awake-by-rabindranath-tagore-inspiration-change/ https://tolstoytherapy.com/let-my-country-awake-by-rabindranath-tagore-inspiration-change/#comments Thu, 19 Jun 2014 09:12:00 +0000 https://tolstoytherapy.com/?p=141 Reading the Poems That Make Grown Men Cry anthology by Anthony and Ben Holden has introduced me to so many wonderful poems, poets and – perhaps most of all – stories, especially those of the ‘grown men’ who chose the collection’s one hundred poems. One such story was by Salil Shetty, Indian-born human rights activist...

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Reading the Poems That Make Grown Men Cry anthology by Anthony and Ben Holden has introduced me to so many wonderful poems, poets and – perhaps most of all – stories, especially those of the ‘grown men’ who chose the collection’s one hundred poems.

One such story was by Salil Shetty, Indian-born human rights activist and Secretary General of Amnesty International.

The poem he chose was “Let My Country Awake” by Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941), accompanied by a particularly poignant introduction.

"Let My Country Awake" by Rabindranath Tagore
Rabindranath Tagore was a Bengali polymath who reshaped Bengali literature and music in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Author of Gitanjali, he became the first non-European to win the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1913.

Salil Shetty describes the poem as “a powerful call to action and a declaration of belief in achievable change”. Perhaps most moving, however, is his statement that the final phrase, “let my country awake”, could quite easily be replaced with, “let the world awake”.

To Salil Shetty, the poem is “about universal aspirations”, and I think we could all do well to read it with our own aspirations and that of wider society in mind. When considering how we might act in the interests of others, but also improve ourselves, this poem is a great source of inspiration and motivation.

“Let My Country Awake”

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action –
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

The original Bengali language poem, “Chitto jetha bhayashunyo”, was published in 1910 and included in the collection Gitanjali by Tagore.

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